46. starbucks it's like mcdonald's for adults....my happy meal is a vanilla tea latte (herbal of course), fruit, & a rice krispy treat.
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12 comments:
I love Starbucks way too much! I get hot chocolate and a blueberry oat bar. Sometimes for lunch I get their turkey sandwich...so good.
xxoo
Common Characteristics of an Emotional Abuser
* She was verbally abused as a child, witnessed it in her own family, or was verbally abused by a previous partner.
* She has low self-esteem.
* She has an intense temper, triggered by minor frustrations and arguments.
* Her sense of power or control depends on her partner's acquiescence and his performance per her demands. She feels "in control" only if her partner is totally passive and giving in to all of her preferences and decisions.
* She has rigid expectations or fantasies of marriage, and will not compromise. She expects him to behave according to her expectations of what her partner should be like; perhaps the way her parents' marriage was, or its opposite. She demands that he change to accommodate her expectations.
* She projects the blame for all relationship difficulties onto her partner. She wouldn't get angry if only he would be who she wants him to be... She denies the need for counseling because there's "nothing wrong with her, only with him." She might not want him to get counseling because she's threatened by the threat of an outsider "taking sides" with him.
* Abusers are extremely possessive and jealous. They experience an intense desire to control their mates.
* Abusers often have superficial relationships with other people. Her primary, if not exclusive, relationship is with her husband.
* She may be described as having a dual personality -- she is either sweet or exceptionally cruel and sharp. She is selfish or generous depending on her mood.
* A major characteristic of abusers is their capacity to deceive others. She can be sweet, calm, charming and convincing.
* The mate is usually a symbol. The abuser doesn't relate to her partner as a person in his own right, but as a symbol of a significant other. This is especially true when she's angry. She assumes that he is thinking, feeling, or acting like that significant other -- often her father (or other family member or authority figure).
What effect do abusive relationships have on the partners of abusers?
Both emotional and physically abusive relationships take a deep toll on the partners of abusers. Self esteem is worn down, sense of options evaporates, self-care is compromised, and the power of choice is eroded. Partners of abusers may experience clinical depression, denial, chemical dependency, extreme codependency, and suicidal ideation or attempts. The abused partner frequently clings desperately to the abuser, believing that it's all they deserve or will ever get.
Partners of abusers experience denial of the abusiveness, both from their partners and internally. This denial is very much like the denial experienced by addicts, and just as life threatening. Denial and the loss of self esteem often cause the abused partner to remain extremely loyal to the abuser. (Until the denial about the abusiveness is broken through.)
Chemical dependency in one or both partners is extremely common in abusive relationships. The isolation of abusive relationships provides an ideal climate for the progression of addictions
hey anonymous..
copy paste copy paste. come on now. Amanda I suggest you go private. Seriously people?
I'm sorry the TRUTH hurts.
greg get off my blog
Please don't let the cycle of abuse extend to your children! These are the last words I will ever say to you.
greg ridd
Amanda- end all this and go private with this blog....I never understand the anonymous comments. If you are going to make a strong comment, please back it up with who you are. Period.
This is a horrible painful situation for everyone involved. I hate this blog because it gives people, many who don't even know us, or have never even met me a snapshot of our life. Nothing close to the real picture. All the comments people add that take one side or the other only add fuel to the fire. I am trying my best to stay sober and work a program of recovery, because I love my wife and children and those around me I have hurt. The comments left on this blog by both sides are stressful and painful for both Amanda and I who are trying our best to just make it through the day. No one out there in blog land can imagine the hell that I have put my wife, children and family through with my addiction. They can also not imagine the guilt, pain, torment, and shame I feel every second of my life because of what I have put the people I love the most through. I have lost everything in my life that was important to me and in the process destroyed Amanda's hopes and dreams my childrens innocence and the trust of everyone around me. Please understand that I have a terminal disease of addiction. Left untreated it will kill me. I would do anything to be free of it and rewind the nightmare my life has become. Please when adding a comment think what Christ would do and don't be spiteful or rude. Both Amanda and I are hanging on by a thread here. My life and her sanity hang in the balance. I love you Amanda I'm sorry.
Anthony
That last comment by Anthony made me cry. Several family members of mine have struggled with 'addiction' and to hear the voice of the actual addict in regards to his family is touching. So sad, I hope and pray that Anthony can heal and become a stronger person...most importantly for himself but for his children and wife too. Hang in there Anthony. We are cheering for YOU and your family (all of them!).
There is no one to blame for my addiction or behavior while under the influence but myself. Everyone has stress and difficult situations in their lives. Not eveyone becomes an addict. I have a genetic predisposition to addiction and made very poor choices to deal with the stresses in my life by using mind altering substances. The combination of these circumstances led to me being an addict, and once the switch is flipped it cannot be turned off. I take full responsibility for my addiction and will not blame it on anyone else. I just pray that through hevenly fathers help, I can stay sober, stop hurting those around me and have a chance at being a husband and father again. Thanks again to eveyone who has helped my family during this difficult time. I am sorry for what I have put you all through. Again, I am so sorry Amanda. You should never be blamed as any part of the cause of my addiction. I love you.
Anthony
SHE is amazing mister anonymous and your "list." Clearly you have no idea WHO you are talking about by your lame attempt at "copying and pasting" some BS you found on the internet.
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